Never meant to be mine
by Vinny of Despair
Summary: He loved everything about her, despite how much it hurt; Moriyama x fem!Kasamatsu, one-sided Kise x fem!Kasamatsu


**Fandom**: Kuroko no Basuke

**Pairing**: Moriyama x fem!Kasamatsu, one-sided Kise x fem!Kasamatsu

**Words**: 2401

**Warnings**: Genderbend Kasamatsu-senpai; her name's Yuki. Kasamatsu and Moriyama are 27 here, Kise's 25. It's mentioned that Yuki has brothers going by the names of Misaki (18) and Souta (22). She has a son. Written in 3rd person, but it's more from Kise's perspective. Angst, I think.

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Kuroko no Basuke nor the characters, they belong to Fujimaki Tadatoshi-sensei

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Autumn was a season both hated and loved by many. Leaves were slowly turning different colours, before falling to the ground and leaving trees completely bare, so vulnerable and breakable. The sun would often hide behind clouds, leaving a rather gloomy atmosphere to surround the Earth. The rain would be falling more and more often, and the wind would be getting stronger and chillier. The happiness and carelessness of summer retiring, as autumn, filled with more responsibilities and mature decisions settled in.

But Kise loved autumn, despite the chilliness. He loved the leaves, red, orange, yellow, brown, and the children running around, with bright jackets and sometimes fluffy scarves, if their mothers found it necessary. It was the time for sweaters and warm blouses, cups of hot chocolate and cuddling under the blankets. It was _her_ favourite season, and nothing she loved could possibly be bad.

As the thought played in his mind, he noticed how close he was to a rather small, but nicely looking house. He could already see the plate with the owners' surname on it. It was painted a lovely creamy colour, which gave it much more brightness than white could ever do. The leaves on the tree were mostly yellow, and he smiled, picking up his pace.

He rang the doorbell that he used so many times before, and waited for the owner of the house to show up. He heard quiet footsteps on the other side and then, after a simple click, she was standing in front of him in all her beauty.

A small frown was ever-so present on her beautiful face, framed by messy dark hair. It was rare for her not to pull them up into a ponytail, so Kise briefly wondered if something was wrong, but her enchanting grey-blue eyes, grey like the autumn sky, blue like the water in the ocean, didn't reflect worry or sadness. They were sparkling brightly, meaning she was the complete opposite of unhappy. A tiny smile appeared on her face as she saw him. It wasn't that rare, not anymore, not since three years ago when she became one of the happiest women on Earth.

"Took you long enough" she said and retreated to the house, leaving the door open for him to follow. She changed since high school, just a little. She became a little bit more open with her feelings and smiled more. She became a woman, a bit more feminine, but still as strong willed and incredible as ever.

"Sorry senpai, I got caught up with watching falling leaves" she gave him a look as if he was the stupidest person on Earth and shook her head, tying an apron around her waist. It made her belly seem even rounder than it did in the loose brown sweater. Kise couldn't help but stare at it for a short while. It was hard to believe that right there, under her heart, a small baby was slowly coming to life. In less than two months, she'd give birth to a beautiful child and become a mother.

Would it be a girl, or a boy? He had a feeling it would be a girl, and she'd look exactly like her mother. Dark hair and stormy eyes, and the smile so bright it should be illegal. All the boys would fall in love with her. Will she play basketball, like Yuki and himself? Or maybe she'd become a manager or not care for sports at all. But she would be loved all the same.

"You okay, idiot?" Kise snapped out from his thoughts and willed his eyes to move towards her face, until they met her lovely eyes.

"Why wouldn't I be, senpai?" he asked, putting on a fake smile. A mistake, he knew, because there was no way she wouldn't notice. They were far too close and important for each other not to notice pain that the other was going through. Yuki was smart and she noticed many details, except for maybe feelings that had to do with love.

"You're too quiet. You're only quiet when you're upset" she said, fixing her eyes on a pot in front of her. Kise was grateful that she chose that moment to turn around, otherwise she'd see the nearly invisible blush on his face, see the love reflected in his eyes, and hear the sound of his heart beating faster.

Kise loved everything about Kasamatsu Yuki, from the day she hugged him tightly after their loss and said it was okay, that the team would be okay. She's done the same for everyone, picked all of them up and pushed them forward, put on a mask of the strongest person on Earth and made Kaijou look incredible, despite their loss, as she and Moriyama led them out of the gym, heads held high.

He loved how, despite the falls she went through, despite the disbanding of the girls' basketball team due to the lack of members, she didn't give up, she became the manager of boys' basketball club and supported them through everything. Together with coach, she thought of the best training for them, and despite the fact that it was a training from hell, it was effective. Everyone agreed that she shared the captain's position together with Moriyama, something that the 3rd year boy came up with. At first she said that it was bullshit, but eventually got used to it.

Kise loved how she didn't care about his looks or popularity, how she treated him exactly like she treated everyone else. How she slowly warmed up to him and started treating him like a friend. He loved how she liked him, not because he was a model, but because he was someone she could trust. He loved her eyes and the way she'd talk about things, the way she'd smile when she thought nobody was looking.

And finally, he loved the sparkles in her eyes and red cheeks when her father walked her down the aisle and she gave Kise a small, shaky smile. He loved the way 'I do' rolled off of her tongue and how, two years later, the words 'I'm pregnant' left her mouth. She looked so happy then, so proud, that she failed to notice the pain in Kise's eyes.

Because no matter how much he loved her and loved to imagine how things could have played out differently, he wasn't the one that made her laugh so easily. He wasn't the one who made her smile a sun worth thousand suns. She didn't take the name Kise Yuki, and the cute boy she gave birth to wasn't Kise Hayate either. He wasn't the one to wake her up with a kiss and nuzzle her neck. He wasn't the one she whispered 'I love you' to through her soft lips. He wasn't Moriyama Yoshitaka, and he could never replace him, no matter what he'd do.

"I was just thinking about the old times, and what the senpai were up to" missing your friends was a believable enough reason to be sad, and it wasn't like he was lying completely. He really had been wondering how his ex-teammates have been doing. He hadn't seen them for almost a month now, which honestly wasn't that long, but it wasn't that short either.

He looked at Yuki and felt his heart speed up again. She was smiling that smile again, that fond and loving smile. She truly was an adult woman now.

"Kouji's been stocking up on baby goods. He's going to be a father soon, after all. And to think that Hayakawa is getting married soon as well" she sighed, glancing at the soup before walking over and sitting opposite of Kise. "And I think that Misaki entered his rebellious stage, and Souta's only encouraging him!" she grumbled, her hands folded on a table and so close to Kise's, that if he reached out his arm, he could entwine their fingers together. But then, as if to cruelly remind him, a ray of sun fell upon her wedding band, the reflected light blinding him slightly.

"Isn't Misaki-kun 18 already though, senpai? How can he be rebellious at this age?" the blond chuckled, watching Yuki's face twist into a frown.

"Exactly, he's 18 so he should stop behaving like a child. He has university entrance exams this year, he should focus on studying and not going out for parties. And Souta, that little brat, said I should stop acting like a worrywart and let him have some fun" as she was speaking, her eyebrows knitted hands clenched into fists. The way she was protective of her brothers was so adorable, and made Kise wonder what would happen to Hayate once he grows up to be mature enough to go on dates.

"I'm sure he's going to be alright, senpai. Misaki-kun is a very smart boy" she glared at him, as if accusing him of teaming up with her younger brothers, before sighing tiredly. She took one of her hands from the table and placed it on her round stomach.

"Have you thought of a name yet, senpai?" she glanced at him and nodded her head.

"If it's a boy, we want to call him Shuji, after Yoshitaka's grandfather. If it's a girl, then Kyoko" she paused before grinning at him widely. His eyes widened. She never grinned like that, not at him. He wasn't used to seeing that sort of Yuki, Yuki that was usually more composed and grumpy. He felt his face burn, something he tried to hide by ducking his head. "I think it's a girl. And she likes you a lot, and your voice. Whenever you come over, she calms down and doesn't kick. It's funny, because it was the same when I was pregnant with Hayate" it was reasons like these, words like these, that made it impossible for him to give up on her. Even if she was happy with someone else, even if he wasn't her everything, even if they wouldn't grow old together, even if he wasn't her children's father, he loved her so painfully much. He thought it was impossible to love someone so much that your heart would go crazy, your cheeks would burn. He thought love that painful was impossible, that unrequired love lasting for that long should have never happened, that he should have given up, move on.

But Yuki was the one who slapped him in the face for acting cocky, the one who pulled him up first after their loss against Touou, the first one to make him love so desperately.

"Senpai I-" he wasn't sure what he wanted to say. He couldn't confess, not to a married woman, not to a married woman that thought of him as her greatest ally, as her best friend, as a brother. He couldn't destroy that relationship, and yet he wanted to tell her how he felt about her, he needed to tell her, he-.

"We're home!" Moriyama's voice, mixed with a childish laughter and happy barking of a dog, interrupted his words and took Yuki's attention away from Kise. She stood up and walked towards the front door, one hand still rubbing her stomach.

"Welcome back" he heard her soft voice, and a happy cry of 'Mommy!'. Kise stood up as well and followed the woman's footsteps, walking at the scene that would definitely be very heart-warming, if it wasn't so heart-breaking. A small boy, an identical copy of Moriyama, just with Yuki's eyes, was clinging to his mother's legs. She petted his hair fondly. Yoshitaka approached her and planted a quick kiss on her lips. It hurt too much to watch, so Kise turned his eyes away.

He winced a little when his fingernails dug into his hands too deeply, but that pain was nothing compared to the way his heart was shattering into pieces once again. He was stupid, he knew, he should have walked away, moved on the day she told him she and Moriyama were going out. H should have run away from that love when she told him they were getting married. He should have moved cities when she told him that she's pregnant. But, as his eyes looked back at her, he remembered why he didn't.

He had never seen a woman as beautiful as Yuki was at the moment, in the embrace of her loving husband and son, smiling lovingly with sparkling stormy eyes, messy dark hair, and a baby under her heart. She was beautiful, both inside and out, and even though she wasn't his, and wouldn't be his, not ever, the pain was worth seeing someone you love so happy.

As if only noticing him now, Moriyama broke away from Yuki and walked towards him, pulling him into a hug.

"It's good to see you, Kise. Been a while. Have you been doing fine? Got any cute girlfriend?" he smiled at his senior's words. He looked older and was more mature than when they first met, but he was still the Moriyama that Kise remembered.

Yuki smacked her husband's head and rolled her eyes when he asked if she was jealous. Hayate run over to hug Kise and the blond ruffled the boy's hair, looking at the love of his life, scowling in irritation as Yoshitaka proclaimed his love to her. She seemed to remember something when her eyes met Kise's.

"Oh yeah, what did you want to say back then?"

_I love you. You mean everything to me. I've been in love with you for the past 9 years. You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I want you to always be happy. I want to hold you close and kiss every part of your face. I want to grow old with you. I want to bring up children together with you. I want to be with you. I love you, I love you, I love you._

Instead of voicing his thoughts, though, he swallowed the pain and grinned.

"The soup might get burnt" he said. Her eyes widened and she quickly went to the kitchen, followed by her husband's and son's laughter, and their dog's happy barking. Kise laughed together with them, hoping that no one would catch the sorrow in his laughter, or see the pain reflected in his eyes. But more than anything, he wished she'd never stop being happy.

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**A/N: I felt bad writing this, haha ;w; . I'm not going to writing any continuation to this, but I did come up with what happens afterwards with my friend. The second child is a daughter and they name her Kyoko. Kise never gets married, loving Yuki till his death. He never told her, and she never noticed, because she always thought of him as her good friend only. He reminded her of her younger brothers. Moriyama figured it out though, and instead of getting mad, he patted him and told him it's been hard on him. They remain very good friends, and Kise's like the second father for both Hayate and Kyoko, who's a spitting image of her mother. And, yeah, haha, that's all..**

**Thank you very much for reading.**


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